Part Four

He Said

Since his discussion with Catherine about his future, Brian had done a good deal of research and of thinking about what he wanted to do next. The time had come, however, to put all of the information together in a form that would help him to make decisions.

Thinking deeply, Brian imagined what it might be like to continue on his interrupted journey. It was true that he had re-envisaged himself without his lifelong ambition. That had been a painful thing to do and he was not entirely sure that he liked the person he had become while struggling with the question of who he was without it. But now, with the old career path tantalisingly close, he knew that he had to try to follow it.

Taking a sheet of paper and a pen, he began roughing out a plan to take him from where he was now to where he wanted to be – where he had always wanted to be. There were not as many steps, or obstacles, as he had thought. A tentative smile teased his lips. This was a more satisfactory situation than he had previously imagined.

He thought for a minute about what this detour had cost him and what he had gained by it. A year after the point where he lost his way, he was more self-disciplined, more confident and more determined to succeed. But he also knew that he was more than his ambition. It did not take him long to decide that the last year was worth having lived it.

She Said

Pulling up outside the house in Corbin, Trixie let out a sigh that mingled relief and resignation. The sight of the house still brought a pang of bitter feelings, but even so she was glad that the journey was over. She hopped out of the driver’s seat and stretched for a moment, before going to unlock the door. The house felt empty and unloved and she hurried back outside to start fetching her things, in the hope that bringing them in would ease the impression.

Half an hour later, she paused for a break. Her back and shoulders were aching, but the job was not finished. Despite the bulk of her belongings having been stuffed into her parents’ attic, there was still a great deal that she had managed to fit into her car. She was trying to decide whether to go back for another load, or to give up for the night, when a knock sounded at the door.

“Hello?” a female voice called.

Trixie looked out and saw a woman of about her own age, with dark hair cut very short and an elfin face. She greeted the newcomer.

“I’m guessing you’re my new boss,” the woman replied. “I’m Liv. I work Tuesdays through Fridays in the mornings.”

Trixie introduced herself and invited her in.

“Oh… no, thanks. I didn’t mean to intrude.” Liv stumbled over the words a little. “I just came to see that you’d arrived safely and to let you know that we left you a few things in the kitchen – from all the crew, as a welcome gift, you know.”

“Thanks.” Trixie smiled, as the other woman backed away. “That’s really thoughtful.”

Liv shrugged. “Well, I guess I’ll see you Tuesday morning. Nice to meet you, Trixie.”

“Nice to meet you, too.”

Trixie’s heart felt lighter for the encounter and she finished her work for the night with a new bounce in her step.

He Said

Late one evening, Jim set about a task that he had been putting off. It was time, he decided, to ready the pair of wedding rings for their new home in the garden he was preparing.

He took the small box from its hiding place and examined it. The wood was smooth and relatively unblemished. On the underside was a scratch that probably dated from the time it had been thrown down by the impact of a falling tree in a storm. Jim ran a finger over the scar and then turned it right way up. Inside were the rings that he and Trixie had exchanged on that ill-fated day in Tennessee.

Jim looked them over with as much detachment as he could muster, which was not much. His looked new and unworn – as was the case; he had only worn it for a few hours of one day. Trixie’s bore a few marks, probably from the time she had worn the two on a chain. With a near-inaudible sigh, he returned them to the box and closed the lid.

The box fitted neatly into a small plastic container he had found and the lid snapped on with a click. He turned to the supplies he had laid out and selected a zip-lock bag that appeared to be about the right size. He slid the container inside and did up the closure most of the way across. After excluding most of the air, he closed it completely and then checked that it was secure. Using some wide tape, he folded over and secured the opening so that it could not come undone.

Next, he looked through the wrappings he had found and chose a clear plastic. This, he wrapped around the bundle, folding and taping as he went until it was shrouded in multiple layers and the entire piece was used.

After some consideration, Jim took another sheet of plastic, this one black. It was made of a thicker material and did not conform so easily to the shape of the parcel, but Jim pressed it down as firmly as he could and secured it tightly. The resulting package was far more unwieldy than the original, but he wanted to be sure that no moisture could penetrate.

“Where to keep you until it’s time?” he wondered, in a low voice.

A thought occurred to him and he nodded once. He picked up the parcel and carried it upstairs. One of the doors in the corridor was always closed. He crossed to it, swung it open and stepped inside.

This room was bare and unfinished. The walls were a plain white and the floor uncovered. Jim walked slowly to the middle of the room – the master bedroom – and placed the parcel on the floor. After gazing it for a moment, he turned and left, without looking back. The door closed with a soft click and he put the whole situation out of his mind.

By the time his landscaping supplies were delivered, Jim was eager to finish this stage of his project. He had risen early a few mornings in order to do the digging required in the coolest part of the day. The work of laying the paving stones was hard, but the area to be paved was small and Jim was not unfit.

When he reached the centre of the area, however, he stopped and retrieved the package he had prepared. Digging a hole in the bedding material, he fitted the package in it and filled in the sides. It lay slightly lower than the surrounding sand, but Jim decided against filling in on top of it.

He placed the stone carefully on top and tapped it down, just as he had the others. His instinct was to rip it back up and check that the parcel was still safe, but his more logical side vetoed the idea at once. With an effort, he took his eyes off that one stone and completed his task. His mind lingered on the rings long after they disappeared from sight.

This part of the task done, he sat on the ground and contemplated what he had done. The rings were now as close as he could get them to the place he and Trixie had hidden them together. While he still missed the summerhouse, he hoped that this would become a beautiful place. The former building had become a symbol of lost hopes and it was perhaps better for it to no longer exist. This place was becoming something new. And if it also held some ghosts, then Jim was prepared to live with them.

She Said

“What’s wrong?” Honey heard, as she stood staring out of the bedroom window one morning. Turning, she saw Mart in the doorway, a look of concern on his face.

“Just feeling a bit lonely and abandoned.” She tried to smile. “It’s hard being the one left behind all the time.”

He crossed the room in a few strides and brushed the hair out of her face. “What do you mean, left behind?”

“By Di and Trixie,” she clarified. “I’m so glad you’re here – and Jim, and Dan – but it’s not the same. None of you are girls.”

“No, we aren’t.” He ran a hand across her back and drew her into an embrace. “I didn’t know that was a problem.”

Despite her melancholy, Honey laughed. “Usually, it’s not. I just didn’t expect this to happen. Not that I’d been all that close to Trixie lately, while she sorts through whatever it is that she’s sorting through. But I want my friends back.”

He nodded and kissed her forehead. “Maybe Di will be back soon. Or maybe Trixie will get her head out of her butt and start being herself again soon. Or maybe you’ll make a new friend. You should try finding some other mothers with little boys.”

“Maybe.” She leaned closer. “Maybe that’s what I need.”

“And we’ll plan a trip to go and see Di, and another to see Trixie. How will that be?”

She pulled back far enough to shift her position and kissed him hard, on the lips. “That will be wonderful. Did I tell you lately that you’re wonderful?”

“Yes, but I can stand hearing it again.”

Honey smiled and kissed him again. Already she felt better.

He Said

Jim received his next delivery, that of a garden bench, a few days later. As the sun sank in the west, he carried it up to the new garden by himself, as awkward as that turned out to be. He was certain that any of his friends would be happy to help, but this was a task that he needed to do alone.

He settled the bench in the place he had chosen for it and sat down to contemplate his work so far. It would be a lot better, he considered, when there were plants in the beds and in the gaps left between some of the stones. As he intended to pick those up in the morning and begin planting them, this was no particular worry. He had a reasonable idea of what to plant and had already checked on where he could get them.

He followed that plan in the morning and had soon returned with the back of his car filled with a variety of plants. He spent a good deal of the morning deciding where each would go in readiness for the evening, when he intended to do most of the work.

When the sun was sinking below the tree line, Jim made his way up to the garden with a wheelbarrow filled with plants. He worked steadily, planting and watering, until the light faded from the sky and he had to call it a night. Most of the new plants were in position and the last few could be added early in the morning.

The garden was nearly complete.

She Said

Trixie spent the first few days in Corbin getting to know the staff at the foundation and acquainting herself with the details of how everything worked and where things were kept. She returned to the house each day feeling like she could belong there, if only she could learn all this stuff.

Her home base was slower to come together, in part because unpacking and decorating were not among her higher priorities and in part because she really had not brought a whole houseful of goods. But while her housekeeping had not improved with the journey, something else seemed to have changed within her. She had not realised how much it had hurt her to pull away from her loved ones, but she was beginning to understand a lot of things about herself that had previously been obscured.

When she checked her emails, she found one from Di. A warm feeling sprang up inside her chest at this reminder of home and friendship and loyalty, and she settled down to read it at once.

Hi Trixie,

How are you settling in? I always think those first few days are the worst, when you can’t find anything and there’s so much mess and everything – but maybe you thrive on the chaos.

I’m glad to be back in Montreal, but I really miss everyone. Eric says hello. I think he thinks that you’re going to be solving a mystery a week while you’re there and that it will be safe for us un-mysterious people to visit a few months from now. I told him that it’s a beautiful part of the world to visit and that it would be well worth the trip. We’ll see if it actually happens.

Speaking of the mysterious, though, I thought I’d ask you about the continuing saga of your eldest brother. Do you know what he’s up to? I spoke to Indira on the phone a couple of days ago and she told me he was investing in the future of the cosmos in a gesture of philanthropic perfection. I might have gotten that slightly wrong, but it was the general idea. I hope it’s legal, whatever it is that he’s doing.

Lots of love,

Di.

A smile brushed across Trixie’s lips as she read. Without stopping to think, she hit reply.

Hey Di, it’s great to hear from you. I have NO idea what Brian’s up to, but it’s probably completely legal and legit, knowing him. I don’t know how he stays friends with Indira. I would have thought she would drive him up the wall. Love, Trixie.

She clicked send without delay, feeling more connected to her friend than she had in a long time.

He Said

“Hello? Anyone home?”

Jim heard the female voice from the direction of his back door and knew at once that it was his sister.

“In here,” he answered, and heard her enter.

“Oh, I’m glad you’re here,” she told him, sitting down at the kitchen table next to him. “I’ve had such a frustrating morning and Mrs. Belden told me to just leave Joshie with her and come and see you.”

“You’re Mrs. Belden,” he teased gently, knowing that Honey had been told often to call her mother-in-law Helen.

“You know who I mean.” She slumped down until her chin rested on her hands, which lay on the table in front of her. “I’m just so glad that I can’t hear him crying any more. My head was about to explode.”

“Come for a walk and look at the improvements I’ve been making,” he suggested. “It’ll do you good.”

“Okay. Where are they? In the house, or outside?”

He gestured to the door. “Outside. I’ve been doing a little bit of landscaping.”

“Sounds interesting.”

She let him lead her along the path to the former site of the summerhouse. He watched her begin to relax, as she turned her face to the breeze and breathed deeply of the fresh air. Her expression shifted when they got there and he saw surprise, then understanding in her face.

“It’s looking lovely,” Honey told him with a small smile.

Jim shrugged. “It’s a little bare just yet, but I hope the plants I’ve put in will grow and fill the gaps.”

“I just wonder why you’ve planted a garden here and not down near the house.”

She looked innocent as she spoke, but Jim felt the undercurrents in her words.

“I like it here. I thought it was a good place for a garden.” He shrugged. “And there’s some landscaping around the house already. I thought it was time to do something somewhere else.”

A flicker of emotion crossed Honey’s face, but she made no comment on what he had said, instead remarking, “It will be a nice place to sit in the evening. I like this bench.”

“Yes,” he answered, hoping that the other topic would drop. “I intend to make the most of it when the weather’s warm.”

She took his hand and squeezed it. “I’m so glad that you’re making everything here new. I was worried for you, for a while there.”

He nodded, unable to answer past the lump in his throat.

“But you’re getting better now, aren’t you, Jim?”

He swallowed, willing the lump to go away. “I think so. I feel better.”

Honey smiled. “Good.”

She Said

At a quarter past twelve, Di picked up the phone and made a call to Trixie. She had received a text from her friend earlier in the day, asking for a call at that time and on a specific number. Di assumed it was probably her work number, since it was one she had not seen before. It rang a couple of times before being answered by a chirpy female voice which most definitely did not belong to Trixie.

Di greeted the person, who identified herself as Liv, and asked to speak to her friend.

“Sorry. She’s not here, but she left a message for you. Something came up all of a sudden. You don’t know anything about solenoid valves, by any chance, do you?”

“Not a thing,” Di answered.

“Pity. We could use all the help we could get.” Before Di could comment, she got back to the point. “But you wanted the message. Trixie asked me to tell you that everything’s fine here and that the problem she wanted interrupted didn’t eventuate, and that she’ll call you when she gets back from troubleshooting this valve thing, to tell you all about it.”

“Oh. Thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” Liv replied, and they said their goodbyes.

Di frowned at the phone for a moment, wondering what that was all about.

Fifteen minutes later, the return call arrived.

“What are you up to?” she asked Trixie, as soon as she heard her voice. “And who is Liv?”

“She’s shaping up to be my partner in crime.” Trixie’s voice held a note of satisfaction. “It’s not at all like when I’m with you or Honey, but… well, she’s fun and it’s good to have someone to talk to.”

And she doesn’t remind you of anyone or anything you don’t want to think about, Di added silently, but she also had to admit that she understood. Her female friends in Montreal were not Bob-Whites by any stretch of the imagination, but she was glad to have them.

Pulling her mind back to the issue at hand, she asked, “But what was I supposed to interrupt?”

“The most boring man in the entire world!”

“Seriously? You wanted me to call just to stop you from being bored?”

“It’s an international call, Di. Even the King of Boring can’t argue with an international call!”

Di couldn’t help it; she put her head down on her desk and laughed.

He Said

Lunch was approaching, and it could not come soon enough for Brian. He had started work early this morning, intending to get some particular jobs done before things got busy. The plan had worked, to an extent, but he was starving.

The door to the back room opened and the receptionist Lisa’s face appeared in the gap.

“Brian? You have a visitor.”

He looked at her in surprise, then over her shoulder to see Indira, who was positively beaming, not to mention bouncing with excitement. He stepped out into the corridor as Lisa returned to her desk.

“We did it!” his friend cried, kissing him right on the mouth. “You clever, clever boy. Look!”

She held out a plastic paddle, marked with a plus sign.

“Shh!” he urged. “I don’t want the whole world to know about this, remember?”

Indira looked unrepentant, but tucked the home pregnancy test away into a pocket somewhere beneath the billowy blouse she wore.

“I just wanted to thank you for doing this for me. It means a lot.”

“You’re welcome,” he answered, as she gave him a sudden hug. “I hope it works out.”

She nodded and turned to leave. “I’ll let you get back to your work, now.”

In a whirlwind, she was gone. Brian stood looking at the place where she had been, not quite able to assimilate what had just happened. From a biological point of view, he was going to be a father. The fact that he would have little contact or influence on the child put a different light on the situation, but the reality of it hit him like a kick to the guts.

“What, exactly, have I done?” he wondered aloud. In his mind, he added, And why does it hurt so much?

He had no answer for his questions.

She Said

Late in the day, Trixie finished up what she was doing and made a token effort of tidying her desk. The rest of the staff had left long ago, but she wanted to stay behind and get on top of some things. She had not realised when she took on this role just how involved she would get so quickly. Up until this point, she had let the foundation run itself to some extent. Now, she needed to adjust the organisation’s direction to better suit her vision for it. The challenge was shaping up to be just what she needed.

As she walked through the empty rooms and checked that everything was as it should be, she reflected on the time she spent in her old workplace and the drudgery it had been. They had not valued her skills, or her strengths. They had drained the last drop of energy from her, weighing her down and giving back nothing but a less-than-acceptable amount of pay. The promise of advancement had evaporated and left her with nothing.

“I needed this,” she affirmed, to the empty kitchen. “I needed a challenge and a break and the chance to prove myself – even if it’s just to myself.”

She armed the alarm and closed the back door. And in the light of the lowering sun, she strolled back to the house, where she could spend the rest of the evening in front of the television with some reheated leftover Chinese. It wasn’t the life that she had once envisioned for herself, but at least she was now heading in the right direction.

He Said

Now that Indira’s pregnancy was confirmed, Jim felt that the time was right to broach the subject with his lawyer. He wanted the arrangements to be in place before the child was born, for the unlikely event of something happening to Indira during the birth.

So, he found himself in a legal office, trying to explain the situation to the man who had been handling his affairs ever since he came to live with the Wheelers.

“My… friend… is pregnant,” he began, attempting to remember the speech he had rehearsed for this occasion. “She and I have come to an agreement where she has sole custody and that no one is financially responsible except her, but that in the case of her death or permanent incapacitation that I would take custody. We want you to write up agreements to that effect, and to advise us on what else needs to be done.”

“You’re really sure about this, Jim?” his lawyer asked, with concern obvious on his face.

Jim nodded. “You know my situation. It’s not improving and it’s looking less likely that it ever will. I don’t have anything much to lose from entering into this agreement.”

“But, if you find out that the child isn’t yours…”

Jim shook his head. “I know that the child isn’t mine.”

“Ah.” The other man sat back in his chair, his face showing something approaching understanding. “In that case, we’ll have to be very careful of the wording when we draw this up. What about the child’s real biological father?”

Jim looked away. “He doesn’t acknowledge any involvement at all. He wants his part in this whole, dubious business to remain unknown.”

“Dubious is a rather good way of describing it,” the lawyer noted.

Jim laughed, without the slightest sign of humour. “You should have heard the first scheme the mother came up with to cover the possibilities we’re talking about here. Fraudulent would be a better description of that one.”

“Well, I’m glad that common sense prevailed in that case.”

“It needs to, every now and again,” Jim quipped. “Though, knowing Indira, it’s difficult work making that happen.”

The lawyer looked at him, hard. “Well, planning for all possible contingencies is a step in the right direction.”

Jim nodded his agreement. He only wished his mother had taken such a step for him.

She Said

Honey could see in her husband’s face that he knew something and did not want to tell her. The way he took her hand and led her into their room told her that he expected her to cry. For a few moments, she wondered who it was who had died, but something told her that there was another reason for the way he was acting.

“I heard something today,” he began, as they sat on the side of the bed. “I thought you might like to hear it in private, before you have to face it in public.”

“What is it?” she demanded, gripping his hand so hard that he grimaced. With a guilty start, she released her hold on him. “Something bad?”

He gave a minute shake of the head. “No. Just… well, I think you might find it upsetting. I might as well just say it: Indira is pregnant. She’s due in March.”

“What?” Her voice was so soft, she could barely hear it herself. “But…”

“She doesn’t seem to even know whose it is,” he continued. “She’s happy about it, though; really happy.”

“It’s not fair!” she wailed, so loudly that he shrunk back. “Why should she get a baby when I don’t?”

As the tears poured down her face, Mart pulled her close and she felt his love and concern for her. She knew, in that moment, that they would face this together.

He Said

Brian weighed the keys in his hand, a smile threatening to split his face. My car. Freedom. Mobility. He ran a hand over the paintwork of the driver’s door, then got in. He put the key in the ignition and turned it, pausing to listen to the smooth sound of the engine.

Pulling out of the car dealer’s, he felt better than he had in years. This was how his life was supposed to be. He was back in control.

She Said

By the time that she had been in Kentucky for three weeks, Trixie had developed a correspondence via email with each of the other Bob-Whites, other than Jim, as well as her parents. A few other people had also emailed her and she had answered each one. For the first time ever, she had an inbox which contained no unanswered emails and this circumstance caused her a feeling of tremendous accomplishment. Her replies, at first brief, had become more and more detailed and she felt a strong connection to those to whom she wrote.

How strange, she mused, one day as she sent off another reply. I didn’t feel this way before I came here. I’m closer to Honey now than I was when we could see each other any time.

The thought filled her with an uneasy feeling of guilt over the relationships she had neglected over the last few years. With a pang, she came to the realisation that she had shunned those who meant the most to her, all because of her own failures and bad decisions. It was certainly not Honey’s fault that she was related to Jim.

The train of thought brought another stab of pain. Even after all this time, she knew that what had passed between the two of them was not something to be quickly forgotten. At times like these, she felt like she would never be over him. She remembered details of the first trip to Kentucky, and their hasty trip across the state border, at odd intervals. Just living in this house gave her ample opportunities to come across reminders.

“This isn’t helping,” she sternly told herself, aloud.

“What isn’t?” a voice asked from somewhere just outside. She recognised it as belonging to Liv.

She threw open the window that overlooked the approach to the front door and found her friend and colleague there.

“Dwelling on the past,” she replied. “Over-thinking. Feeling guilty about things I can’t change.”

“It generally doesn’t,” Liv noted. “So, how about you take your mind off it. I was thinking of picking up a tub of ice cream and eating the whole thing, but then I thought I’d invite you to join in.”

“Sounds great. I’ll just get some spoons and I’ll be out.”

Liv grinned. “That’s the other reason why you’re invited.”

Trixie laughed and pulled the window closed. A minute or two later, she locked the front door, two spoons grasped in her other fist.

“Do we even like the same kinds of ice cream?” Trixie wondered, as she got into Liv’s car.

Her new friend shrugged. “I don’t think I’ve even met an ice cream I didn’t like. I thought it was a safe enough bet.”

“Then let’s go. Our ice cream adventure awaits.”

Liv gave her a look. “If you think ice cream is an adventure, you’ve lived a pretty sad life.”

“Oh, you have no idea.” For a moment, Trixie sank back into the past. “Let’s just say that I need a big dose of normal, for now. Ice cream adventures are about as much as I can take.”

He Said

Brian walked out of his doctor’s office with a soft smile that refused to leave his face. He wanted to celebrate the hope that had come back into his life, to somehow express the lightness he felt. His career – the only thing he had ever wanted to do; the thing that he thought he had lost – was coming back within his reach. He cast his mind over the last year and came to the conclusion that a lot of the improvement was due to his work situation and that, in turn, was due to Indira’s persistence. He determined to call her and invite her out somewhere.

The tunnel had been dark, but the light at the end of it was now bright. And while he could never regain all of the things that he had lost, he had learned to live with far less than his ideals. He felt stronger for this journey, and nothing was going to hold him back now.

The End